PRE-MATCH

With Club Captain Mowbray absent, the pre-match interchanges centred on rousing one another to mastermind the season’s first victory. This intended not as a salute to make the Gaelic skipper proud however, but simply put as “Stu will be well annoyed if we win on the only week he isn’t here”. Whether or not this can be taken as an official ‘vote of no confidence’ has yet to be validated.

After Major had continued his excellent standard of team warm-up, the ref decided he was going to raise the stakes on the afternoon, insisting outright that if any single one of us even caught the slightest glimpse of an Adidas boot studded in the new “fang” formation, we must tell him. Immediately.  I certainly felt the screws in my moral backbone tighten.

THE MATCH

Receiving the kick off, the match started fantastically from an OH perspective, with some big forward boshes proving that Bec Old Boys (BOB) were much softer in the tackle than expected. This gained us quick territory; some great kicking and a few very well won line-outs later the speed of the OH ruck eventually frustrated the oppo enough to concede an early penalty, which was dutifully slotted by Rob Young to see us 3-0 up. The rest of the first half showed the OH back-line to be full of promise, with Young orchestrating some excellent moves in the 3/4’s and Ed Westlake drilling plenty of holes in the pocket between the BOB’s 9 & 10.

 In the huddle at the start of the game, Rob had casually informed the OH back row that the backs would be operating what I recall as a “spinning/sliding banana” line of defence (Guy, you were nodding enthusiastically  - I would be grateful if you could share with me your wisdom?). My mind nimbly inferred that this was intended to “sit their big centres on their arse, and quickly” (my brain’s words, nobody else’s), and throughout the game this appeared to be implemented famously, with regular big hits coming in right across the backline, with particular mention to Dev, Kingers & George, who were both regularly relied on to make last-ditch tackles and never faltered in their task. Unfortunately, the one time that OH’s excellent communication in defence broke down, their hooker seized the chance to drop the ball over the try line to make the half-time score 5-3 to BOB.

The half-time score could be considered unfair, particularly with some excellent counter-attacking runs from deep inside our own half – Dangerous regularly scything through from 15 after collecting from over the top, and Hooker for the day Tom Jewell (that’s me) catching from deep to outpace the finer athlete that was the opposition full back (this was met with 1 or 2 saying “wow” and “well done”, but a majority fairly lamenting me for standing at full-back in the first place!)

The second-half showed glimpses of the OH excellent first half, and some great yardage from the tight 5 deservedly paid off with some silky hands from the backline (with the help of substitute Baber!), ending with Dangerous touching down for an unconverted try in the corner. He had to reach bloody high to take the final pass, and when congratulated by team-mates had a look on his face that can easily be compared to that of an excited teenager who’d just had the joy of asking his best mate to smell his fingers for the first time.

The ref, anxious of “the fang formation”, was very quick on the whistle in the rucks, and as OHs tired in the second half more and more penalties were conceded. BOB scored 2 tries in succession, one from a fluky interception punted through by their centres, and another after a long spell of pressure and dubious hands in our ruck.

With 10 minutes to play, and OHs now 17-11 down (Rob’s penalty included), the team were soon buoyed by the long-promised sin-binning of one of the BOB forwards, carving a window that was soon to be pounced through. Some spirited crash balls from skipper Deri, prop Piesy and some excellent heads up rugby from flanker Guy soon had us at the right end of the pitch. With the forwards’ mounting momentum masterfully marshalled by Major (how’s that for alliteration!?), the occasion eventually came for us to capitalise on our numerical advantage, and Major swung the ball to be met by a perfectly-timed blindside sprint from George, scoring in the corner. After fly-half Rob coolly converted under such pressure, OH’s led 18-17 with 5 minutes to play!

Plenty happened in the panic of the last 5 minutes, but all that is important is that Major eventually saw the ball out and Old Haileyburians 1^st XV’s inaugural season win was finalised and met with raucous rapture from all. LONG LIVE THE WIN!

We were back at OH’s HQ for the first game of the season with a slightly make shift forward pack and a front row made up of Dangerous, Eamon & Rich Perry.  And all a bit rusty and a few stone heavier courtesy of the summer.  Yet our enthusiasm and excitement to take the field was unrivalled.  Cranleigh was looking well drilled having already played two warm up games and looked keen for a game.  Although most of the OH’s had watched NZ give a France a lesson so we were all confident we could emulate the All Black performance.

Cranleigh won the toss and elected to receive.  A strategic decision saw as playing uphill in the first half as I knew the lads would need all the help we could get in the second half.  So we kicked off and within minutes Fred Welsh was dumped in a tackle and had to be subbed.  This was within kicking distance so Andy Mac slotted the first points for the OH’s.  From then on in it was a battle with both sides putting everything they had into every tackle, break through, ruck and maul.

Dev Sullivan was on hand to receive a pop pass from Dean Redhead after he managed to break the advantage line, a page straight out of Sonny Bill Williams’ book, and thus Dev bagged the first OH try of the season.  The score line was tight and Cranleigh was not giving up easily and we rewarded with a try of their own.

We went into half time with a small lead and all breathing through our arses.  Yet after an inspirational speech by Eamon had us all eager to get back on the field and smash a few tackles.  Through some good ball distribution and with our centres pummelling into the Cranleigh defence we were taking the game to them.  Some great pick and drives by our forwards resulted in Jack Beeby taking the ball over the try line for our second try.  The forwards put some great defence in our 22 and stopped Cranleigh scoring a number of times.  Although their persistence did pay off and a few slip ups by the OH’s let Cranleigh get over our line. 

We were in our 22 Cranleigh driving forward somehow Ali James ripped the ball, broke the line side stepped and gave it gas to outrun a wing and full back to score the winning try.  It was a great run of about 60 metre although after each beer Ali seemed to add a couple meters, by the time we got to the Alma it was a 65 meter run.  At curry it was a 70 meter run.  At the Northcote Pub I heard him telling a bird that he ran the ENTIRE length of the field side stepping 8 players.

Final score and a very well deserved 22 – 17

A great performance and OH spirit by all, but especially those that played out of position and played through injuries.  A special mention for Eamon Ross and Tom (on his debut) that both had brilliant performances in the forwards and were a force to be reckoned with. Let’s take it into next week.

Pre-match

Everyone seemed excited and up for the game, talk of “the best backline available all season” was being put about and conditions appeared perfect for an expansive running game, much to the disappointment of the forwards, Rosie Unters in particular!

The warm up went well with Boothy practicing his Brit Fit routines, although we did also discover that although the pitch looked to be in good nick it actually had the topography of a grass covered ryvita.

The Game 

OHs started the game well controlling early possession and territory. The resulting pressure led to us gaining a penalty bang in front of Old Emmanuel’s posts and when I say bang in front I mean bang in front, I reckon with a decent ‘wheel up’ Steven Hawkins could have nudged it over. So up stepped Downers to slot over for the inevitable 3 points. However, to the amazement to all playing, and watching he stuck it a good 10 metres wide of the right post! I’m fairly sure I heard a Nelson style “HA HA’ from someone driving along the A3 at the time.

After this disappointment, OHs continued to dominate proceedings with good work at the breakdown by the forwards, and gaps being found almost at will by the backs. This early pressure finally told when good work down the right-hand flank led to a blind side break away resulting for a touchdown by Downers under the posts to make up for her earlier misdemeanour.

Downers added a penalty to his try to give us a commanding 10-0 lead about half way through the first half.

Unfortunately having taken control, we seemed to take our feet off the gas and allowed Old Emmanuels back into the game.  Although our solid defence kept Old Emmanuels restricted to a solitary penalty by half-time, there was definitely a deflated feeling at the break as we knew we hadn’t capitalised on the opportunities we had to properly take hold of the game.  

Unfortunately the second half started where the first had left off and it was only thanks to some solid defending and OE's failure to make the most of numbers outside that kept us ahead. 

There was a strange feature of this game which was a bit of a talking point afterwards. Now I've been led to believe that OH's is a fairly financially sound rugby club, but I think someone must have forgotten to pay the gas bill as we made numerous clean breaks during the game, but only managed to capitalise on one which was eventually finished off by Boothy. This made the score 17-3 and gave us a bit more breathing space. 

At this stage OE's brought on a few replacements who looked from their first involvement in the game to be pretty handy and it wasn't really apparent why they hadn't been played from the start. This injection of fresh legs and pace led to a try from OE's from a move in which they penetrated the heart of the OH's midfield through some poor first up tackling. 

This score mounted extra pressure on us as we tried to battle the momentum shift towards OE's. 

Luckily our defence stood strong which enabled George to intercept a pass and make a long break to score and put the game out of reach for OE's. 

The game finished 24-10. It wasn't a game in which we played to anyway near our potential but it was a good result at the end of the season against a team battling relegation. 

Huge. Massive. Immense. "Zut alors!" as they say in Bangkok. But enough about Ferg's waistline. He's a man with a lot on his plate right now. Literally.

The reasons for billing Saturday's encounter as Le Crunch were threefold. Firstly it marked the 99th anniversary of the foundation of the US branch of the Girl Guides (or the Girl Scouts of the USA as you probably better know them Daws). Secondly, it is of course the feast day of Theophanes the Confessor, a man who couldn't even walk past the Pope without spilling his misdemeanours. And thirdly, and most importantly, Barry, the last known surviving actual, genuine Old Haileyburian had brought a real live Old Tiffinian to tussle for this week's claim on decades of bragging rights. As the unofficial president of the Old Haileyburian cheerleading squad, this one was for Barry.

However, the day got off to an inauspicious start. Captain Mowbray had requested a 2pm kick off so that he could gather with the other Leprechauns and watch the Emerald Isle take the sound spanking they so eminently deserved, from a devastatingly good and utterly dominant Welsh team. Utterly. Dominant. No doubt. But his overtures to a premature kick off were spurned by an opposition unable to rally before 3pm. Or so we thought. Imagine our surprise, no, horror, on arriving at Ruxley Lane at 2pm to see the opposition playing some light touch. Yes, Skipper's suggestion had been spurned because the oppo needed to warm up - old school. And disappointing.

But if I might take a slight detour here, I've noticed recently, a touch of darkness entering our own pre-match routine. I've not seen the front row take a drop goal in months and some of the stretching from the likes of The Major and Downers seems terribly ostentatious. Indeed, one or two of the backs (Nils and Rob being the clearest culprits) were seen doing press-ups. You're not on Gladiators now boys. But far worse than this seems to be the introduction of a "warm down". I'm not entirely sure what that means, but it seems to be the highlight of Boothy's week. I'd just like to draw the club's attention to the research on this matter. There is a common belief that proper warm-ups and cool-downs and appropriate stretching exercises help to reduce injury risk, but research is very equivocal on this point. In a study of Dutch runners a control group of 159 athletes were taught how to warm up, cool down, and stretch effectively, while a second group of 167 similar runners received no 'injury prevention' instruction at all. Over a four-month period, the injury rates were identical in the two groups, averaging about one injury per 200 hours of running, so the stretching, warm-ups, and cool-downs had no protective effect at all ('Prevention of Running Injuries by Warm-Up, Cool-Down, and Stretching Exercises,' The American Journal of Sports Medicine, vol. 21(5), pp. 711-719, 1993).  In fact, a second study showed that stretching could actually be associated with a higher risk of injury. In research carried out at the University of Hawaii, runners who stretched regularly were about 33 per cent more likely to be injured compared to those who never stretched (see Peak Performance, issue 46, July 1994). I mean, I don't want to labour the point, but when some of us in the front five struggle to keep up it's only because we want to perform at our peak come game time. It's science. You can't argue with that.

Anyhow, back on track and into the game time. As you may have guessed by the lengthy introduction, I can't actually remember much about the game itself, but that's hardly the point of a match report anyway.

However, the omens were good. The infamous Haileyburian Seer had disembowelled the proverbial sacrificial goat and the entrails read Victory (although it may have been Vintry as it was hard to read with all the metaphorical blood, but Victory seemed the more relevant of the two. Not for the goat you understand. He had very much lost that symbolic battle). And as the sides lined up the OTs could be heard to exhort their horde into proving just why they were the best pack in the league. A red rag to a bull if there ever was one. Or indeed a small child to Babyeater who went forth to give the kind of dominant scrummaging display that has earned him the reputation of most feared infant-devourer on Wandsworth prison's east wing (from which we welcomed his day-release). Saddled by Deri and Ferg, the OH pack gave the kind of set piece riding that the likes of Scotland can only dream of these days.

And it was following such an early surge and turnover that the OHs built an early lead with captain Mowbray stretching over the line and Downers adding the icing to the cake. Not literally, it's a metaphor for a conversion. [Although could we arrange some cake for the next game, Chris? The curry was good, but 5pm says cake and tea to me. Maybe a nice Victoria Sponge. Maybe that's what the goat entrails were hinting at? You can't beat a really good Victoria Sponge.]

But perhaps it was in memory of Saint Theophanes himself as around the park our performance was flecked with charity. Where the son of Constantinople gave of money and time, think knock ons and off-sides meaning we spent much of the first half conceding scrums (yay) and penalties (boo). Fortunately for us the OT kicker was caught up in the charitable feeling of the day (and a tricky breeze to be fair) and pushed a couple wide leaving us with a 7-3 lead at the interval.

At this point the Skipper substituted himself to see if he could be back in the clubhouse in time to watch the start of Ireland's devastating humiliation at the hands of the quite superb and utterly dominant Welsh (utterly dominant), and so a vastly improved OHs team, minus its captain, launched into the second half.

But the second period didn't quite go to plan. The wind swung rather easterly (incidentally the direction whence forth Mary Poppins arrived at 17 Cherry Tree lane. She was not seen at Ruxley Lane on Saurday though. Pity.) and the hoped advantage was snatched from our sails. Plans to peg back the opposition were thus employed against us and a couple of well worked tries ensued to leave us 13-7 down. I say well worked, I can't really remember them as I was well off the pace, but they were a decent team so I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt on that.

And then to our Easter-tide miracle. They say that you make your own luck in this game. That hard work earns luck. Indeed, that there's no such thing as luck. I'd like to disagree. Our second try was lucky. An infragrant punt from Rob looked to be sprinting towards the dead ball line and a 22 dropout would surely ensue. But where I saw the chance for a breather, the man himself saw glory and received said accolade when the post intervened betwixt pitch and dead ball line, sending a gift-wrapped rebound for the chaser to dive by the posts. Was it lucky? Was it his tenacity? Was it grounded? Was it legal? Does my face look bothered? Seven points, icing included.

And so the good ship OH whittled down the minutes with defence to the fore and glory to the aft. Celebrations felt muted given the hard work we'd made of it, but dethroning the league-leaders is never to be sniffed at. And most importantly, having this season travelled from Fortress Ruxley to Farnham (in Northern France I think it was), Barry was able to claim bragging rights until at least next year. And indeed to eternity if the OTs get the promotion they deserve and we remain in our eternal Surrey-bound throne of mid-table inconsistency.

To summarise, a splendid win.

Did anybody watch the Wales game by the way? We utterly dominated those gobby Irish. Utterly.

Dominant.

Utterly.

After a week off to recharge and re-cooperate we arrived at the Law Society pitches full of youthful enthusiasm (and late). At first it appeared we had arrived at some kind of chav convention – as far as the eye could see were skinny acne-ridden footballists in glittering Argos diamante, wearing more sovereign rings than Andy Fordham.

But on the horizon a set of proper shaped posts were poking out of the tree line about 4 miles away, and we set off for a walk…Such was our focus that even an abandoned shopping trolley on-route did little to distract the still inebriated Gareth from the task in hand.

A brief run through and stretch saw us lining up for kick-off, with both teams closely matched in the opening exchanges. The OH’s defence ground the Law Soc. attack to a stand-still before a very questionable penalty (I still plead not guilty) allowed the Law fly-half gain some metres out of hand. From the resulting lineout the outsized OH’s pack could do little to thwart the winning trio of accurate throwing, bean pole second row and a well drilled catch and drive, leading to the first score of the game.

When we managed to get ball in hand for the first time good ground was made through close quarter running and quick ball, with Stu getting long armed in midfield leading to a shot at goal and the first OH’s points of the game.

Then followed a bizarre period of play where both teams scoring on virtually every attack – Law Soc via numerous catch and drives (one-dimensional doesn’t do it justice), with OH first dotting down through Boothy ghosting through in the centres, and then Ferg showing great power and taking the more direct route (and three Law defenders with him) to score on half-time.

The second half started in our favour with the hard yards put in by the ever ROSEY Rob Unters, and Deri with the rest of the pack providing quick ball from the breakdown.  With the 9-10 axis of Major and Nils running the show and it was only a matter of time. A well worked penalty move close to the Law soc line left defenders chasing shadows and allowed Kingers to cross with his good looks still intact. However the rumbling juggernaut that was the Law pack kept on eating up any advantage we managed to eke out, leaving the game on a knife edge going into the final 20.

Ironically it was the Law fly-half who had shanked/hooked and sliced every kick off the floor all day who decided the outcome with a well taken drop goal from the 10 metre line. Not to be outdone the OH finished stronger, with a well taken try from Major earning us 2 valuable bonus points, which could well have been more had we managed to get our hands on the ball. All in all a great show from the boys in pink – with everyone to a man fronting up against a well drilled and confrontational Law side.

The scene for Saturday’s grudge rematch was unfortunately set when first glimpse at the weather presented treacherous rain. The rain didn’t slow leading up to the match and a few players were caught peeping out of the changing room doors as if fearful to join the Ironsiders who had already been warming up for a good half an hour. El Capitano had a stern word however and the team were led for a solid warm up by Major.

The warm up was interrupted by the usual stud check and the standard piece from the ref….little did anyone know how much more would be heard from him!

The first half commenced with Battersea kicking deep into the OH forward formation, however there was no clear claim for the ball which resulted in a disappointing fumble into touch and an immediate opportunity for Battersea to test the OH defence. Pressure came from a solid lineout win, followed by tight crashes up front, however defence was strong. In fact, a little too strong for the referee who didn’t have his own interpretation of the laws but rather his own law. To enlighten, Graham was found guilty of rucking ‘too hard’. Acknowledged, he took out five men with one hit, but since when this has been illegal, I cannot answer. The first of two yellow cards was the result and a converted penalty for Battersea. 0-3

The lead was, unfortunately for OH’s extended a few minutes later when the referee gave another penalty soon after the restart. Whilst the decision may again not be agreed with, at least this time it was for a law that existed – offside. 6-0. This score was made more painful by the loss of Wisey, whose three match season was brought to an end by a dislocated shoulder. The referee decided to point out after the match to Wisey himself, that this incident after approximately five minutes was “the turning point” of the match.

The rest of the half was littered with errors from both sides, more penalties than it is possible to keep count of and a few demonstrations of the OH potential. The first was from the backs – a chip over the top from Rob Young, which bounced awkwardly for the BI fullback who slipped whilst trying to track the ball. Just two meters from his own line, with Downers and Nils charging down on an open ball, the fullback instinctively but illegally slapped the ball forward away from the chasers. The referee correctly recognised the cynical nature of the play and accordingly yellow carded the player. Penalty try!....Sorry, for some reason not, just a scrum? A few phases later and the forwards were rewarded for their domination in the scrums with Deri picking and comfortably trundling towards the line popping up to Dan for a try which was well converted by Downers. 7-6 Half Time.

The second half started with an OH team full of optimism but any sign of slight indiscipline continued to be punished as ruthlessly as it was in the first half, again breaking the flow of the match. The first infringement within kicking range, was in favour of OH’s and Downers didn’t hesitate to step up and successfully extend the lead by three points. 10-6

The initiative with the home side, the pack continued to dominate in the scrums, and the backs took confidence from this running more courageous moves. The most successful to note was the wrap around, more than once showing potential to earn a solid 40-50 metres. When this potential was at it’s utmost, a miss pass from Rob Young went behind Nils to Downers who made 20 metres breaking from the OH’s own quarter. Faced with a two-on-one with the BI winger, supported by George ‘Gas’ Armstrong, Downers successfully threw the pass to leave George a Chris Ashton style run-in, no doubt to be elegantly polished off by the infamous shallow dive. The opportunity for such spice was however stumped by the frustrating recurring whistle that by this point was ringing in every player’s ears. The decision was made, from 30 meters away to rely on the BI’s linesman who was frantically waving his fluorescent flag, signalling a forward pass from Downers to George. The hurt was undeniable but OH’s had more pain waiting when 10 minutes later, an identical call was made for a forward pass, again given by Downers and called by many of the BI’s prior to the painful sound of the whistle. The BI linesman, after the match admitted that the first forward pass (that he had called) was not in fact forwards, but he thought he “might as well have a go” because “he used to be a footballer and that’s what they do”. Fair excuse no!?

From this point, the momentum seemed to be against the OH’s, as a penalty was soon given under the posts to Battersea. Unlike an earlier clanger, this was slotted and the final 20 minutes promised to be a nail biter. 10-9

Unfortunately the match was to be decided by Battersea’s only try of the match, taking advantage of a narrow and slightly sloppy defence, eventually flanking on the outside 10-14.

A missed conversion left the OH’s with hope and no-one gave up, the pack in particular showing huge guts and strength, continuing to successfully complete lineout’s combined intricately with rolling mauls to earn valuable ground. The match could have been taken back after continuous pressure for the last five minutes and relentlessly pummelling of the line. However, efforts fell short at the death with BI’s awarded, surprise surprise, a free kick for one final accidental offside as the last play of the game.

Sadly for all involved, the game saw very little fluidity, rarely to the fault of the players and the result was difficult to stomach in a match that could easily have gone either way, but some of the blame must lie at home as superiority was simply not capitalised.

It was days like Saturday that made the 15 hardy OH souls that arrived at Farnham fully appreciate the luxurious, billiard table playing surface of our home ground! There was a slope that required crampons and a team of Sherpas to travel from touchline to touchline and a surface that was stickier than a sticky thing.

The OH boys were not intimidated by the hype in the match day programme telling of winning streaks, video analysis (don't suggest this to George!) and unbeaten home records. We were, however somewhat confused as to the names attributed to players we have come to know and love.....apparently we've got someone called Nick Mason playing at scrumhalf - Major won't be happy!

In light of a few of the usual faces not being available, OH's may not have had the usual solidity at the set piece but from the kick-off our superior pace and fitness (go Ferg!) showed that if we used a bit of grey matter we could keep it quick and use the obvious advantages we had in the backs and around the park.

Within 5 minutes we had found that (even if we told them where we were going with big flashing signs) anything run down the blindside would reap rewards. It wasn't long before Gareth was dancing over after such a move, although not before his opposite man decided he didn't like the idea of tackling Gareth's immense stature and ran in the opposite direction! A couple of minutes later, Downer made one of his usual loping meanders from inside our own half, drawing the full back and giving Doddsy the opportunity to show his hamstrings still worked by finishing the move.

As the half progressed Farnham started to use their obvious weight advantage to better effect and the game slowed and became one more of attrition. A penalty from the metronomic boot of Downer made the scoreline look reasonable; however just before half-time Doddsy decided it was all too much for him and decided that a pulled groin was sufficient excuse to have a rest. Unfortunately our lack of subs meant we had to play the remaining 45 minutes with 14 men, this was compounded on the stroke of half-time when Rich decided the biggest, ugliest chap on the pitch needed to be tackled, irrespective of whether he had the ball or not. Go get 'em tiger!

The second half brought a seismic shift in momentum, with Farnham sticking it up their big old jumpers for most of the half. They were happy to smash the fringes and dominate the scrums, the ball rarely passing 10 (although when it did, the gulf between our backs and theirs was obvious). The pressure occasionally showed as Farnham managed to breach the OH trenches and pulled back a couple of tries but a further barnstorming, butt-shuffling run from Captain Mowbray kept the score in our favour.

There followed a tense final 10 minutes during which OH absorbed a huge amount of pressure, tackling like men possessed and being rewarded by turning Farnham over and getting the ball downtown on the stroke of 79 minutes with the score at 19-24. The referee decided he was having far too much fun and proceeded to play an additional 8 minutes consisting mainly of Farnham penalty, after penalty, after penalty, after penalty.....etc! After a succession of 5 metre scrums, during which our front five were Herculean in their efforts, we finally got the turnover and Stew was able to flop on the ball to finish the game.

All in all, a great win to keep the OH dander up. Although the effort was immense from 1-15, particular high-fives have to go to the front five who stuck at a monumental task all afternoon and eventually paved the way to victory. Wonder what it looked like on the video.....?!?!

In near freezing conditions the OHs stepped out of the changing rooms to face what seemed like a dads and lads team from Raynes Park; an eclectic range of ages with their token South Africans.

It was noticeable that the oppos strength lay in their forwards in that it seemed whenever their backs touched the ball they preferred to hoof it down the pitch rather than give it a go. The initial pressure came from the RP pack as they pushed for the line but our defense was strong and organised with some great tackles being put in. We converted this defensive composure into attacking momentum through some great forward runs off Major and Rob leading to the first break of the game. Off the back of the ruck the ball went blind and with a dummy cut in-side by Robbie Young the ball was placed nicely for a Downers conversion right in front of the sticks. However, the first half didn’t really have much more to write home about, it felt like our foot went off the pedal as we let RP back into the game and beyond belief we headed into the half time huddle 7-10 down!

Some strong words were said, and rightfully so, having shown our potential the game should have had a W written all over it by half time.

Stew’s and Major’s words were echoing in our mind and they seemed to be having the right affect as a new team emerged from the half time huddle; we put together some flowing rugby with a mix of both forward and backs moves and before we knew it we were bounding down on the RP line; off the back of the ruck Rob swung it out wide to Wisey running on eagerly to bundle over the line to make it 12 – 10; this must be the moment where “Wisey took the game by the scruff of the neck” (Alex Wiseman 2011).

For 20 minutes of the second half we gelled as a team, hitting the rucks and mauls hard and swinging the ball around the backs. Our next try came from some great vision by Rob and Stew as seeing no RP full back a weighted ball was driven through for chasing Stew to drive on under the posts! Continuing on with some great team work and Doddsy’s brilliant support it led to him taking one right under the posts (converted again by Downer) – even better the Bonus Point was now ours…. If this 20minutes was delivered across all 80minutes then the match would have been a walk over, but not helped by the stop-start nature of the refereeing the last quarter of the match didn’t follow suit and OH’s provided the opportunities for RP to creep back. This unfortunately led to 1 try OH’s to 2 trys RP over the last 20minutes; but nothing could take away from the comedy nature of our last try…. I can’t take much credit apart from being in the right place at the right time… after Rob hauls the ball up the RP full back had a relatively easy ‘mark’, sadly for him coordination left him and the ball flattened his nose, blood going everywhere and the ball bouncing off the post right in to my direction… two RP players seemed to just fall at my feet as I knocked it over the line and dove on it. The final whistle went with a special mention for Rob Unters whose prematch comments “do you think I’m expected to play 80minutes” didn’t even consider ‘…and play prop for 20minutes’…  a sterling effort in the front row!

The final score was 35 – 20 – our points came at times when we showed our ability and potential to cut teams apart, and this we will need to show throughout the course of the next few games. With CL London losing this week the Surrey 2 table has opened up at the top and with up and coming fixtures against Old Tiffs, Law Society and Farnham, who are all gunning for top spot, we’ll need to be in top form. Exciting times ahead!

After an extensive winter break due to adverse weather, the OH first team were keen to start 2011 with a win. The second’s game was cancelled so the firsts were blessed with more than one substitute, something of a luxury and also a cheerleading line up! (Long may this continue for the rest of the season)

It was clear in the warm up that there were still a few cobwebs hanging around from the festive season but after a few words from Ferg the starting 15 were ready to make it two from two against the OCs this season. There was one small issue that delayed the game....no referee turned up! However we were fortunate that the game next door has a referee and a referee assessor’s so Stewart whispered sweet nothings in the referee assessor’s ears and we were ready to go.

The opening few minutes showed that the OHs were not quite at full pace and OCs scored the first try of the afternoon after a period of peppering our line with continued pick and go power.

The OHs were getting into their stride though at this point and there was a definite conviction within the team that we could do the double over the OCs. After cutting the OC backline to pieces fly half Rob had options either side of him with only a few metres out from the line. Throwing an inside pass, it was clear for all to see that Stewart had white line fever and glory in his eyes only for it to cruelly snatched away by a reckless early tackle from the OCs player. After some theatrics on the floor from Stewart the ref duly awarded a penalty and Downers had a chance to get his first points on the board with a successful conversion. 7-5 to OHs.

A change of personnel of half time brought renewed vigour and utility player Doddsy moved from flanker to wing! Pressure at the OCs line early on the in half was converted by Ferg as he powered over from 5 metres out. Special mentioned goes out to Deri, who was lurking in what appeared to be a blatant offside position and acted as a NFL style blocker for Ferg to claim his try, the lead increased to 14-5.

The OHs may have been guilty of a little fatigue as the OCs started to claw their way back into the game and before we knew it we entered the final 5 minutes of the game we our lead cut to 17-12. The OCs had found a second wind and with minutes on the clock they powered over for what appeared the winning score. 17-17. Their kicker held his nerve for a 19-17 lead. However the OHs did not let their heads drop and with 3 minutes to go we rushed back for the kick off. A soaring restart from Rob and the OHs managed to re claim the ball. 30 seconds of power play from the forwards saw the team push over the OCs 10 metre line and into the range of downers deadly left boot........then the sound the team deserved the shrill blast of the ref’s whistle. Downers had no hesitation in grabbing the ball and going for the posts from 35 metres out.........and as the rest of kicks that day it soared through the middle of the posts.  The OHs thought that the time was up and the game was won but apparently there was time for the restart. We gathered the re-start and after the ref gave us another penalty, rob kicked the ball far into touch and the OHs had started 2011 with a well fought but well deserved win.

Teachers do a fantastic job. They are role models for our youth of today. Battling to meet the government’s constantly shifting educational targets and under attack (sometimes physically) from uninterested and disaffected students, teachers regularly not only meet the demands imposed upon them, they often exceed them spectacularly. Under ever increasing pressure to raise academic achievement through a variety of engaging and creative lessons, teachers rarely disappoint.

Saturday’s match against Old Emmanuel’s was an engaging and creative lesson in physicality, patience and accuracy. In Ofsted terms it was ‘Outstanding’. This match was a textbook lesson. Set piece dominance by the scholarly OH forwards was rounded off by supreme intelligence and quickness of thought by the masters in the backs. The pack demonstrated their expertise in clinical rucking, mauling and set piece play. A lesson that the Old Emmanuel eight and (massed) onlookers could have reasonably been asked to pay a (tuition) fee towards.

In education circles, the key to good lessons begins with classroom management. This was delivered in abundance by the pack and in particular the tight five, who dominated the opposition’s scrum. The front row of Derri, Fergus and Graham was immense. So good in fact, that Derri was the only front row forward not to score. The back row, of Neil, Ed and Schoie, provided the protection and security necessary for the ball to be delivered crisply for the backs, whilst also posing an attacking option.

Rob Young, grabbing two tries (and who should be writing this – see below) was the professor. Running the backs with ingenuity, creativity and expertise he used the platform provided by the forwards, to launch the direct running of Stewy and the guile and grace of Boothy. Out wide George showed that youthful talent can teach the older masters new tricks. His outstanding fast footwork and confidence caused many problems for the OE’s defence, who finally succumbed in the second half to his raw pace when he outstripped the prop-wing, scoring in the corner.

The score line could and should have been more in the first half in favour of OH’s. The OE’s defence was torn apart on a number of occasions, only for OH’s to squander the chances when to do so seemed harder than to score. The strange custom imposed by the Captain whereby try-scorers end up writing the match report, must surely be to blame – a direct lesson to the Captain one would hope.

OE’s did provide a couple of lessons worthy of note, however, and reaffirming that education is a two way process. This OE’s team have a potent attack and can turn quick ball into points, whilst this is supported by a potentially match winning kicker and an exceptionally attractive physio. Teams who ignore these first two facts do so at their peril and for the third do so to their loss.

After struggling for numbers during the week the OH’s eventually managed to string together what turned out to be a very effective 15 to take on league leaders, Law Society. Although the match was lost before kickoff, due to OH been unable to field a contested front row, there was still plenty to play for in terms of bonus points and pride. Law Society seemed to have been caught off guard by the mobility and effectiveness of a considerably smaller pack and, as OH took control of the breakdown early on, tensions and frustrations seem to rise on the opposing side and they soon realised this would not be the “training session” they had anticipated.

After losing Toby to foul play and conceding our first try, the balance of power seem to temporarily swing in favor of Law Society as they began to pick their game up a gear, and soon enough extended their lead by another 7 points. Credit must be given to both George and Guy who were instrumental in clawing the OH’s back within contention shortly before half time. The pair were particularly effective around the base of the scrum, taking advantage of space on the blindside with numerous sniping runs - most notably the one where George was able to chip through the defensive line and re-gather for a converted try that brought OH within 7 at the interval.

The second half can only be described as a mixed affair, with moments/phases of brilliance coupled with lapses in concentration and critical mistakes. Still only playing with 14 men, the OH’s started the second half extremely strong with forwards and backs linking superbly to offer Kingers his first real dash for the line. After Kingers came up slightly short, and with Law Society now clearly on the back foot, a quick tap penalty from George on their 5 meter line enabled the OH’s to quickly spread the ball wide creating the much needed overlap, only to come undone with the very last pass. An intercept pass saw the pendulum swing within a couple of seconds and the scrabbling OH defense soon found themselves back in their 22 struggling to fill the gaps as Law Society coasted over for their third try.

Shortly after that, the OH team were struck another mighty blow as Guy went down with what was thought to be a serious neck injury. Play had to be stopped momentarily as he was attended to and, as he was unable to be moved at that stage, the game had to be finished on the opposite field (Law Society were playing for the league and were not prepared to call the game off). The 12 man OH team took to the field for a fighting last quarter which understandably, saw the opposition sneak in their all important bonus point and emerge victors by 11 – 29. Congratulations to all those who played and, although it will go down as a loss, a lot has to be said about the players character and fighting spirit.

On a final note, I can report that Guy is OK and after spending the night in hospital for precautionary measures he was released on Sunday afternoon.

A poorly timed journey resulted in my arriving way too early at the Ironsides sprawling Earlsfield sports complex on a baltic Saturday afternoon. This did however allow me to see a good 30 odd minutes of Ironsides warm up, and as the Old Haileyburians began to arrive and congregate by the playing field the ridiculously high tempo game of touch sped on for another 15 minutes before tackle bags were produced!! Tackle bags! What the f....  We began to wonder - 'are these lads going to be completely knackered? Or are are they going to come out like a pack of pumped up wild dogs?'. Only time would tell. 

We did it the OH way - a short game of touch and a run through the set plays with a couple of runs at the posts (or jumpers as we were confined to the corner of a football pitch) - reserving all our energy for the game. After painting on our pink war stripes (they are that tight and pink); a ten minute walk round the corner to the pitch; some final stretches and we were ready to go (whilst the mental ironsides frantically ran into each other as last minute preparation - each to his own).

Ironsides started at break neck pace, ploughing the ball through their forwards and smashing holes in the OH defence - quickly resulting in an early try - OH were caught napping and made to pay for a start that lacked intensity. Not suggesting that the Ironsides crazy warm up ritual is good practice - but OH could have been sharper and didn't quite look ready.   

After taking some time to play their way back into the game OH scored back with a slick move through the backs rounded off by George and a conversion from Downers to take the lead. Taking multiple cracks to the head in quick succession following this point the precise chronological detail of the game escapes me, but I could hardly fail to forget the 2 subsequent pitch invasions: first by a wayward and slightly deranged border collie (with serious balls, daring to illegally disrupt an OH attack) and secondly by Chris!! The OH physio decided to launch himself into a full blooded attack on the Ironsides winger for what he deemed to be unsporting conduct in George's direction. 

After the shocked and confused Ironsider had been prised from our Physio's vice like grip the game resumed with downers continuing to send over the conversions, the OH forwards bravely battling against the Ironsides weighty pack and a couple of excellent moves from the backs with Robbie and Twats claiming the trys. Two more converted trys from the Ironsiders however left the game balanced on a knife edge at 19-21 as we entered the last 5 minutes. 

At this point it was pure set and smash from the Ironsides forwards who twice made it through the battered OH defence only to be held up, until in the final minute of the game they crashed over the try line and grounded the ball. Leaving every member of the OH team absolutely gutted and possibly wishing we had been more clinical, started with more intensity and matched Ironsiders for fitness in the final stages, but determined not to let a game slip away like this again knowing that this was a game we could, even should have won ...

Determined to put last week’s disappointing result behind them the Old Haileyburians met bright and early on Saturday morning fresh after a good night’s sleep and raring to go........ So at 1pm outside the Alma the team gathered with Graham stocking up on the vital pre-match saturated fats courtesy of his now local greasy butty stall opposite, whist reciting tales of George’s escapades with the innocent young ladies of London’s upper class, or not so innocent if you believe a certain picture that was promised.

After an event free journey (if a little snug for some slower on the shotgun than others) and the entire team arrived on time to complete a full warm up, a personal first with the OH’s. This was particularly impressive given the meticulous 30 min stud inspection by the ref, with what can only be described as inappropriate feeling and tweaking of every poor defenceless stud (for those who may have enjoyed this experience can I suggest the following link: www.footfetishwives.com).

Anyway enough of that and on with the game! OH’s employed the brilliant tactic of starting poorly to lure our opposition into a false sense of security, before piling on the pressure to win by a clear 80 points......... unfortunately after conceding early the plan had not gone to well and we were unable to start to impose on the game until late on in the first half with a brilliant try from ..... Sorry, I really don’t remember how we scored or who scored it, which shows how much input I had in this score. All I know is George missed the first of many conversion attempts, leaving OH’s trailing by 2 points at half time.

Onto the second half and frankly the only one that mattered. After a rousing team speech by our leader, the team came good within the opening minute with another superb lineout take by Ed Davies inside Farnham’s 22 leading to a perfectly executed backs move with Boothy taking a cutting line through Farnham’s back line to touch down under the posts. This ensured the conversion was impossible to miss, however, this probably had more to do with anyone but George taking it, rather than its central location

With the opposition’s heads down and their tempers flared the ref produced his first yellow card of the game. Apparently he only saw the offending player throw 5 punches and you need to get to 6 to warrant a red....... OH’s pressed the man advantage capitalising on more strong line out plays, with the pack pushing over twice from 10 yards, Dougie and Neil claiming the tries – special mention at this point as I hear this is Neil’s first for the club!

Another couple of tries from some slick backs moves wrapped up a bonus points win for OH’s and special mention should go to Rob Young at 10 for an outstanding debut performance. I hear there was another score of note before the end but I can’t remember it and it seemed unimportant, final score 27 - 14, so well done to the boys and off to the Alma where George takes over reporting on the evenings play!

The players who aren't under the thumb of their WAG, including Neil Walker who was basking in the glory of scoring his first OH try went back for a "few quiet beers".

Regrettably ladies man Dougie had already left when Dean inadvertently bumped into a 'ladies' hockey team dressed as Zombie brides. With most of our players aiming for 8 [beers not girls] before 8pm, try to imagine how the hockey team must have looked, since our boys ignored them in favour of pork scratchings and drinking game. In entirely unrelated news, a local Zoo reported that a herd of Rhinoceros had escaped that afternoon and had yet to be rounded up.

In a valiant attempt to steer the night away from Mowbray’s first ever girlfriend dumping him, our Captain found an old Jenga set under a table. George and his touring friend Charlie eventually managed to persuade two fitties to join them, and so for once in OH social history, there were as many cans as nuts. Not for long though as the Alma's landlord thought Jenga looked like fun and joined in... He generously contributed numerous shots of Nordic vodka. I know we all appreciated them at the time (less so the next morning), but thank you very much.

Everyone enjoy a week off, well playing rugby that is, as I hear a few more ‘quiet beers’ are being planned for the internationals this Saturday.

Building on last week’s cracking game we were all hopeful of another strong performance against regular sparring partners Old Cranleighans. Things however were looking decidedly bleak on Friday night with only 11 players on the team sheet. The opposition were very understanding and were happy to play anyway. We needn’t have worried though because by the time the whistle blew we had 19 players. I suspect some there had been some extremely effective alcoholic recruitment occurring the night before.

The game itself had some fantastic performances. Most notably the uncompromising military muscle of Dale gained him a hat trick of tries from the base of the scrum.

In fact there was a certain symmetry in the try scoring stakes, in addition to South African Dale, fellow Saffers Dale, Dean & Dylan all went over. (What is it with the letter D in JoBurg?)

Oh yes, in addition to the Southern Hemisphere scorers young Monkey went over too. Fred as ever added plenty of extras.

Great team effort, well played everyone.

Boothy's warm-up was painfully thorough, with all but Graham 'Krug' Greenwood participating. Whether he was contemplating breaking a sweat on a Saturday afternoon, crying in the loos because he hasn't seen his willy in months, or reporting his credit card stolen to claim back the previous night's expenses remains a mystery.

The new shirts were as pink as we'd all hoped for, but Wisey who is now in his second season of organising kit, felt we needed a little OH 'je ne sais quoi'.... For those who haven't had the pleasure, think Italian 'slim fit' rather than the Jermyn St  'slim fit' than most of us are accustomed to. The 100 strong crowd of locals were already enjoying the afternoon's entertainment when our front five jogged out into the field. Good luck on Ladies Day fellas.

We scored a few tries, and Downer kicked with a conversion rate that even prolific off field players only dream of achieving. The highlight being a beautiful, touch-line kissing, 10mph cross wind conversion - it's such a shame that he couldn't score a single try though. 3-1 to Hollister in the 'Indulgent Dinner with serious Wine' Cup.

The last fifteen minutes were desperate with OH conceding too many penalties (even though Dougie wasn't playing?!) at the breakdown as minds drifted towards X-Factor [read: Cheryl Cole].

The match was a weird one... when we had the ball we attacked with our usual cowboy panache, but the lack of possession and fitness, as well as the strong wind affected us. In the end, even though we were far better [looking] individuals, their gritty perseverance secured an epic come-back, and deservedly won them the match.

These are the crucial matches that we need to win to prevent endless 'relegation dog-fight' team talks come February next year.
Bring on Farnham R.F.C. and X-Factor's Halloween theme this weekend.

For the first time this season the OH’s 2^nd lined up with a full front row and a seventeen man squad...only to have our opposition turn and run with their tails between their legs.  Clearly rumours had been circulating the league that the OHs are not just some pub team out for a Saturday jog...but a team of finely tuned, rock solid, bone breaking, try scoring athletes...(or perhaps it may have just been that they couldn’t get a full team)

We just couldn’t let a full front row go to waste so the calls went out to find an opposition worthy to step onto the colossal battleground which is Ruxley Lane.  We had confirmed an opposition late Thursday night and getting the text from Dangerous I saw  Effingham and Leatherhead; they have found us not one but two sides to play...rumours of the mighty OH’s must be true.  Turns out it was only one side but their 1^st team plays four divisions above ours.

So Saturday came and our 17 man squad dwindled to 15 but we still had a full front row of Eric, Toby and Jamie (an OH debutant).  We ran out to meet the opposition a well drilled side with some robust players and we knew it was going to be a battle.  With ten minutes gone we found ourselves 0-10 down but instead of putting our heads down the team stepped it up a gear.  With some great pick and drives by the likes of Martin, Jamie Mac and Tom O’keefe we fought them back into their 22.

Some great phases by the forwards had has inching toward the goal line, and some quick ball via Rupert and Fred saw Dean cross the line to put the first points on the board.  Fred was on song with the conversion which made it 7 - 10 to the visitors.  The Eagles (as I later found out they call themselves) were not impressed by the resurgent OH’s and spread their wings and scored one out wide.  Making it 7-15...

We were suffering the wrath of the ref and I lost count of how many penalties we gave away.  We were constantly thumped back into our 22 by the Eagles penalty kicks...but our forward defence was impenetrable.  Toby had some great line breaks to get us out the danger zone and some great hands saw Dean break the line with only the full back to beat.  Dangerous made some impressive ground at pace to receive the pop pass as Dean and full back collided head on.  Dangerous scored OH’s 2^nd under the posts.  Fred thought he’d make the game even more exciting and elected to push his kick wide. 12 - 15

The Eagles found out that no team comes to OH HQ and gets a walk over, with this in mind they upped their game and crossed the line a fourth time. Within a couple of minutes we responded the only way we knew how, we crossed their try line courtesy of Dangerous (beginning to see a pattern here, Dangerous, there are 14 other players on field) to make it 17-20. 

Fred elected to kick a penalty and levelled the scores 20 – 20 with 20 minutes to go.

Back on our 5 metre line the Eagles took a quick tap and go...giving the ball to a burly prop to carry it over our sacred line.  Eric was not having any of it and, bless him, he put his body (well his head) in the line of fire of afore mentioned burly prop forward.  Heads collided with a clap of thunder the Eagles man was down.  Eric with all the nonchalance  in the world shrugged his shoulders and accepted his fate of a yellow card.

With scores level Fred elected to put us in the lead with a penalty in front of the posts.  No wait he didn’t, he unfortunately missed.  He obviously thrives under real pressure.  With 8 minutes to go the Eagles secured another try to make 20 – 25 in their favour.  They thought they had the game won...

They were wrong...we had an unbeaten home record to protect (albeit 2 games) there was no way were letting this one go.  Some great hands and support by the forwards saw Roddy cross the line in the corner to level the scores with 4 minutes to go.  Scores level we would never lose.  Fred walked, no swaggered...Fred swaggered over, kicking tee in hand and propped the ball up pretty much on the touch line...we all waited with baited breath as he lined up, took aim and slotted straight in the middle.  What a kick!!

Final score 27-25, good win chaps...highlights included Dangerous having a bit of a handbag fight with a scrawny wing.  Eric’s immense head butt/ shoulder charge and how can I not mention the pungent smell of alcohol that was Roddy as he sweated out the night before’s and that morning’s binging.

Thanks to all the guys who came down you all played superbly well.  A special thanks to Roddy who was still out at 6 am on Saturday morning and Monkey who made it from NW London to the ground in an hour despite car trouble and finally the front row...it was by far the best game of the season; let’s take the momentum into next week’s game...

The powerful OH 2^nd’s arrived at a rain soaked home pitch to take on a 12-man London Media side.  The OH’s had 14 men thanks to Rob’s mate Tom, who volunteered to put on a media strip to even the sides at 13 players each.  Given the conditions and the opposition we all knew it would be a step up from last week’s game.  Graham Wood gave some adrenalin pumping, all inspiring motivational speeches which would rival that of Al Pacino’s speech in “Any Given Sunday”…

So with the adrenalin pumping the game started, with the ball resembling a blob of butter (to quote Rich Keir) a few handling errors were expected…but soon the forwards found the tempo and keeping the ball in hand through the phases we gained some valuable ground.

The rucks and mauls were a physical battle which saw lads like Unters, Woody and Ed getting stuck in and putting up a solid defence.  The pure hunger for blood instilled in us by Woody’s speeches saw some over eagerness which led to us giving away some penalties around the rucks.

Despite the ball being slippery we managed to get it through the backline courtesy of Andy and Fred at 9 and 10, and out wide to set Dangerous off on one of his destructive runs.  Toby, the ever present, was at hand yet again to take a brilliant off-load from Dave and take the ball over the line to open the OH scoring.

Half time and another speech by Woody, this one fit for the script of Braveheart, saw the OH’s start the second half with such gusto and constant pressure from our energetic forward pack that it forced Media to make some mistakes.  We capitalised on these mistakes and saw Andy break away from our scrum and supported by Rich Keir they both crossed the line.  The jury is still out on whose try this is, with both Rich and Andy claiming it.

An honourable mention to Roddy who had some superb runs and great line breaks which saw him cross the line on two occasions to rack up another two valuable tries. 

Thanks to all the chaps taking the time out to come down and play in the rain.  It was good seeing us all play our hearts out and put our bodies on the line which resulted in another well earned win and a clean sheet.  Final score 20 – 0.  Hope to see as many of you as possible next week.

Man of the match goes to Toby Duffin, not only for crossing the line but for his all round gladiatorial performance, which included some bone crushing tackles.

You never know how a new captain will approach game preparation at the start of a season – would OHs adopt a professional approach under new leadership, or continue their hallmark relaxed cavalier style? The answer was reassuring and quickly apparent as 20 minutes before kick-off only 12 players had arrived at this ground at the far end of Surrey... whilst the opposition’s 25 man squad ran through full team drills. Kick-off arrived with prop Graham stuck in Hammersmith only half-way through an epic trek from some northern wasteland, a couple of backs filling in as flankers and only gallant physio Chris swiping enough kit from lost property to ensure there were 15 men to start, and this was rapidly reduced to 14 in any case as the ref set out his over-officious stall early.

Having used OH’s well-practised tactic of lulling the opposition into a false sense of security, we hit the ground running, the forwards winning rapid turnovers at the breakdown and quickly recycling to allow Boothy to ghost down the touchline to find the corner. This was quickly followed by new skip Stu powering through the middle to score with a wonderfully inelegant pirouette and back-flip under the posts, whilst the Old Cats backs looked like they still thought they were playing summer touch on the Common as they flapped at OH’s back division who cut them to shreds with every attack. Shortly before half-time returning stalwart Major sniped round the back of a scrum to touch down as the Old Cats back row went to sleep. Actually bringing his kicking boots to this game worked wonders for Downer as he slotted the three conversions and added a penalty in a swirling wind to close the first half with a comfortable 24-0 lead and thoughts of repeating the half-century notched against the same opposition at the end of last season.

To their credit, Old Cats put up a decent fight in the second half but to say they have a limited game plan is an understatement akin to saying Wisey goes on the occasional date. Sticking resolutely to slow phase pick and drive from the back of the ruck and not once sending the ball to the three-quarters, Old Cats’ repetitive play and the referee’s refusal to allow any contest at all at the breakdown finally made progress. Old Cat’s inexplicably large crowd was clearly going to sleep with the turgid play and OH’s could have been forgiven for the same, and with Deri sin-binned for having the sheer audacity to counter-ruck and a front row now comprised entirely of back-row players, Old Cat’s forwards finally managed to grind over for a couple of tries from a distance of about two feet. Old Cat’s fly-half continued a dismal day for the oppo’s backs by missing both kicks in front of the posts. However, at risk of the game becoming close, OH’s makeshift pack dug in and made innumerable tackles round the fringes and, with Deri’s return and Graham’s long-awaited arrival straight from car to pitch for a cameo 17 minute performance, we got hold of some possession. Finally with the ball, the OH backs hit back with the try of the game, starting on our own 22 and with the ball passing between every three-quarter (including briefly rousing Daws’ from his slumber on the far wing) and many of the pack, the Cats’ defence was sliced open one more time allowing Downer to drag a few more metres out of his creaking hammies to dot down and add the 2 points, with the last play of the game.

OH 2s 48 - 26 Old Cats 2s

Saturday the 26^th September saw the mighty OH 2^nd’s (albeit a make shift 13) take the field at home for the first league game of the season.  Weather was perfect and with the OH home pitch in pristine condition, running rugby was the order of the day.  Only problem being we had, possibly for the only time in OH history, more forwards than backs.

Old Cats arrived with a mean looking front row so we sent Dangerous over to break the unfortunate news of us not having a front row which meant uncontested scrums.  This went down like a lead balloon.

So after standing in a circle and introducing ourselves to our fellow OH team mates we started the warm up…it was a tossup between the forwards and back as to who got the one ball we had.  With only 12 players we were about to take the field with a 6 forward 6 back combination with two flanks moving into the backs…Gareth Owen arrived in the nick of time to take up the no.10 and move Dean into scrum half much to the relief of Rich Keir who could take up flank. (Rich had been volunteered unanimously to fill in at 9)

Old Cats came out ready to rumble to say the least with average weight of the side being about 17 stone, save a sprightly youngster donning a pair of luminous pink boots, with socks to match…

Kick-off…and the rumbling started…Old Cats wanted to pick and drive but despite the size of them they seemed to shy away from the contact as they smashed into an unforgiving OH wall of defence.  With a foundation of Eamon, Rob Unters and Ed Davies the wall was impenetrable.  Rich K, Ali James and Ed Hawley provided the much needed barriers at the fringes.  However this wall of defence did feel the wrath of the referee as we got penalised in the first couple of minutes giving the Old Cats a 6-0 lead.

Rich K was the first to dive over the try line with a quick tap and go penalty from the five meter line.  And thus the OH’s found our rhythm.  Keeping the ball in hand and taking it to the Old Cats forwards we slowly gained ground.  Toby Duffin the powerhouse mobile hooker (making his debut for the OH) was always on hand to break over the advantage line always supported by our ever present, tackle-hungry forward pack.  We discovered the Old Cats backline had gaping holes and was no match for Gareth’s deadly accurate ball distribution and the speed and agility of our centres Devlin and Rich Perry (another OH debutants) and Dangerous on the wing.

Dangerous, who felt bad about us losing a point for us not fielding a front row, took it upon himself to score 4 tries and rack up a bonus point all by himself. [ed: they were frankly walk-ins served up on a plate by the forwards]

Ed D and Toby were both rewarded for their immense work levels with a try each.  And some cheeky breakthroughs by Dean added another two tries.  Gareth was on song with most of his kicking, especially those in front of the posts.

The old Cats did manage to cross our try line on three occasions but given the overlap this was expected but we never dropped our heads and came back fighting.

Other highlights included Rob getting binned for wearing hot pants (which apparently distracted the ref).  Rich K followed Rob about 2 minutes later into the bin which left us with 10 men.  But in true OH fashion we kept fighting and managed to cross the Old Cats yet again.  A mix up saw Ali and Eamon go up for the same ball off the Old Cats kick both calling at the same time.  Eamon proceeded to give Ali a severe tongue lashing.  With ball in hand and fear in his eyes Ali started running, what seemed to be away from Eamon?  Ali gained a valuable 40m which took us out of our own 22...the lesson we all learned from this is stay out of Eamon’s way and let the opposition take the full brunt of his aggression.

To sum it all up…we arrived with only 13 men, played out of positions, lost a man to injury and got two men binned yet we overcame the obstacles and put in a great performance. With a final score of 48 – 26 well done to all the chaps for taking the effort to come down, play like they did and put their bodies on the line lets carry the momentum to the next game.

A special mention and thanks to the three debutants Rich P, Toby and Kug.  Kug unfortunately left the field with a dislocated shoulder, we wish him a speedy recovery.  As for Rich and Toby we all hope you will be regulars down at the OH’s

Man of the Match would have to go to Dangerous for crossing the line 4 times. [ed: again, all down to the forwards etc etc]

Dean